Recently, I’ve decided that I want to move on with my life and start building myself up more than I have in the past. I’m married and I have an 8 month old daughter. I’m a stay-at-home mom, and although I’m happy in that role, I don’t feel challenged in many other ways. I’ve signed up for a couple of classes and I’m happily looking forward to attending some weight watchers meetings and joining a gym next month so that I can lose the left-over baby weight and feel good about myself.
However, I really want to turn those couple of classes into something more serious come next fall or winter. I’m really hoping to go back to school, regain my figure and work on a plan to start a home-based business down the road. I’m worried though, that all of my ambitions will put too much pressure on my husband. When I speak to him, he doesn’t seem to have much to say about it.
Truth be told, he doesn’t really like getting out much, and for a while, especially while the baby was younger I was in the same boat with him. But I don’t want to waste away, spending every minute inside the house. Just because I’m married and have a baby doesn’t mean I’m ready to throw in the towel on life you know?
Is this inconsiderate to my husband? I’m worried that he will feel threatened by my efforts to get back to my old shape and go back to school. He’s not terribly descriptive about his feelings and I’d hate to drive any sort of ridge between us.
Any advice is surely appreciated.
Everyone should make efforts to improve themselves. Just do it WITH your husband’s blessing.
. Bravo you! I think you should go for it. You never know what the future holds and it is NEVER a bad idea to be prepared to support yourself, if necessary. . . . not to mention being a financial contributor to your household. You can never go wrong with furthering your education.
Putting too much on your husband? Only he can say. Plenty of couples make decisons for one party to go to school while the other works and is the primary breadwinner, then when that person has their degree they go to work and support the family while the other partner gets their education. I’ve known many couples who did it so it’s not an odd situation for one to go to school while the other works, kids or no kids.
Why should you be just a SAHM if that isn’t challenging or fulfilling enough to you? If your marriage should end (hope not!) where would that leave you if you’d spent years taking care of the home and raising your child, but had not furthered your education or worked? The job market would not be kind to you!
Go for it. . . it’ll be a great benefit to your family and you personally, either way.
I can’t look into a crystal ball and tell you what your husband is feeling, especially since I don’t know the guy. It could be that he thinks it’s great that you want to look good and be healthy and keep busy, or he could wish you’d mostly stay home and take care of the house so he can veg on the weekends instead of being expected to help with housekeeping.
Maybe you could try breaking down your big questions into smaller ones, preferably with yes/no answers. Instead of “How do you feel about me going back to school and going to the gym and maybe starting a business later?” how about, “Here’s a set of classes I might like to take. Do you think we can afford the tuition?” or “Do you think that we would be too busy if I started my own business?”